“And Mom And Dad Can Hardly Wait For School To Start Again.”

“WELL WE CAN’T SALUTE YA! CAN’T FIND A FLAG! IF THAT DON’T SUIT YA, THAT’S A DRAG” –Alice Cooper.

#23 of the 31 Things I Love About Christmas: The Last Day of School.

I don’t know if there is a more wonderful day in the school year, aside from the last day of school, than the last day of school before Christmas break. Apologies to my wife, who by chance, happens to be a teacher.

Not like kids go on Christmas vacation anymore. Now they embark on a "winter recess." Weeeeeee.

No I will not entertain the argument about why Christmas is a bad word according to some. I won’t do it. The G-rating for this blog would go out the window fast.

Now then, we wasted so much time in school when we were kids. I still think we were better off. School was fun in those early years. I can still see the old, delightfully tacky illuminated Santa Claus hanging out on the left side of the front foyer of Ivan Green School (1992-95). The tree in the front hall, ribbons and decorations abound. There was so much Christmas spirit around, people were pissing pure egg nog until Valentine’s Day.

There goes that G-rating.

We had classroom parties that lasted from lunch until the end of the day. Teachers tried to maintain some picture of law and order, but the most exciting lesson plans in the world can’t compete with the fact that Santa Claus is Comin’ To Town. Usually they didn’t fight it. We got through the bare necessities and that was about it. Onto lunch and then party time. Che bella festa! Christmas cookies, candy and treats all over the joint. In Mrs. Northrup’s 1^st grade class I got a checkers set (the most useful gift I ever got at one of these shindigs). In Mrs. McEllerhan’s 2^nd grade class, I think we did a book exchange, can’t say for sure though. In Mrs. Meyer’s 3^rd grade class I got a monster truck (what am I supposed to do with that)? I remember the mortifying shame of having gotten a girl’s name out of the hat. Most embarrassing thing in the world. ONTO THE DOLLAR STORE!!! That might make me a terrible person, you decide (I got her a frilly little box to put…..girls things in and some sort of hair accessory I think, had to enlist Mom’s help for this one, I would have gotten her a puck and a Slim Jim and said "Buon Natale" if I had my way).

Once we got to Durand we would fool around and waste time until it was time for the school wide assembly, featuring the 6^th grade chorus. Mrs. Albano always went all out on these productions. The teachers would usually get up and sing, perform ridiculous skits and it was back to the classroom to pack it up and head home. Where some sort of goodness would be had for dinner. usually pizza. Ma che bella pizz' from either Amico’s, Pontillo’s, Schaller’s (a burger joint on Eastridge Rd. Unless you are from Rochester, you can't possibly understand)or any other local delicacy we enjoyed. The smell of fresh hot pizza on cold winter’s night, teasing us from the trunk of the car, takes me right back to being in my kitchen as a kid, especially around Christmastime. Weird. I know.

I would try my best to get any homework done ASAP, so I had the rest of the break to enjoy. It seems like it lasts forever. There were 4 distinct stages of Christmas vacation for me:

Stage 1: Last day of school. YAY CHRISTMAS VACATION IS HERE!!!

Stage 2: Santa Claus has come. CHRISTMAS IS HERE!!!

Stage 3: My sister, Rosalia's birthday on 12/27...ah boy, it's almost all over, but not quite.

Stage 4: New Year's Day/back to the grind. Wahhhhhh.

Though I gotta say one thing that does brutally suck about kids, school and Christmas is the unavoidable “Is Santa real?” conversation. I think I would rather have The Birds and The Bees talk with a bunch of 12 year olds than tell a 9 year old. Nope, it’s all a lie. And their pals The Easter Bunny and Tooth Fairy….

I think that has to be, one of the most heartbreaking moments as a parent. After they find out Santa isn’t real, life pretty much rolls downhill in a hurry. It is the last little slice of innocence and wonder kids have left, growing up much, much too fast than ever before. From birth to about 3 or 4, the kids have no real idea of what is going on. They see boxes and toys. You can really screw with the little guy if you buy a 10-pack of socks or underwear and wrap up each pair individually. So if you’re lucky you get from ages 5-8 as Christmases they actually remember, are excited for and know what is going on. I’m sure there is some poor kindergartener who just found out from some brainless schmuck on the bus that Santa isn’t real. I would see and hear kids doing that to each other and my heart would break even then.

I kinda was suspicious around 2^nd grade and probably knew by Christmas ’95. 8 years old. Though I knew it was coming, it was still kinda weird. But it is because my parents made such big doings about Christmas, that my love for it is what it is today. They explained that Christmas was really a spirit all along. Santa and the entire season were based around a spirit that people take upon themselves to continue and carry on. That is why, my dear readers, my child-like wonder and love for Christmas didn’t die when my belief in Babbo Natale did.

In them days we watched movies, listened to Christmas music, exchanged small presents, got sugar high and went home. We were kids. We were allowed to have fun. No reasons. No educational value. We simply had fun. I feel sorry for the modern student who can’t even celebrate Christmas openly in school but if they did, everything would have to be approved by Congress. Coloring pictures? Crafts? Christmas cartoons? No way. Not anymore. So glad we grew up when we did. In every aspect of the word, these kids are living in a different world.