#22 of the 31 Things I Love About Christmas: Seeing Santa Claus.
“Of course, SANTA. The big man. The head honcho. The connection”- Ralphie Parker.
Just yesterday while driving about with my pretty wife I heard an advertisement that brought out my inner Grinch. Now it is probably very clear I love Christmas, but this…this news, it nearly ruined the peppermint Peeps we were nibbling on (a-maz-ing, by the way).
NEVER WAIT IN LINE TO SEE SANTA AGAIN. CALL AHEAD TO RESERVE YOUR TIME WITH SANTA!!!!!!
You heard that right!! No more waiting in line. No more juggling strollers, coats, stray children and heavenly Auntie Anne’s pretzels while waiting to see The Big Guy. YOU CALL AHEAD TO RESERVE A PLACE IN LINE.
This is sad. It is also the picture of where we exist as a nation. Everyone wants everything. No one wants to wait for it. Waiting patiently? Taking turns? Those are all non essential life skills that our children need not to be bothered with. This is almost as bad as the company who now allows you to buy a real Christmas tree ONLINE and have it sent to you.
“AAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH.”- Charlie Brown
Are we so busy that time for our children and family have to be scheduled in and prioritized? You wanna go see Santa Vito, Dino, Angelo and Tony? Well I gotta see when my schedule is free. Have your people call my people and we’ll set something up. It’s no wonder most kids are the brainless, soulless zombies with no emotional attachment to much of anything or have any sentimental value of family and tradition. It’s gonna get worse before it gets better.
Jesus. Hey buddy. Feel free to come by anytime and say hello. The world is just about over, anyways.
Some of my most prized memories of Christmas involve those where we went to see Santa Claus. Usually on a Friday or Saturday night (though I am fairly sure Christmas ’91 we went on Sunday. I remember leaving from Grandmas’ house, changing out of my boots into shoes on the staircase on the lower level of the mall and getting the board game Perfection from Kay Bee Toys.) We would usually get picked up from school and head straight to the mall, so to avoid “the crazies.” In later years we started venturing to Greece Ridge Mall and Marketplace Mall, but while it was still worth the trip we went to Irondequoit Mall. (From 1990-98 Irondequoit Mall could have given the other 3 malls a significant run for their money.)
Click here to see a walk through video of the mall in 2008. Kinda heartbreaking if you remember how it was.
Santa’s Mansion would be set up in the middle of the mall. They would turn off the fountains, drain the water, and set up the gaudiest, most bombastic holiday display one had ever seen. And we would wait (I can hear it now, “Wait Grandpa, you WAITED? FOR HOW LONG? Well at least you could have Starbucks while you waited….WAIT? NO STARBUCKS IN 1993? Call in Grandma, I don’t believe you.”) And wait. And people watch. It was always a treat. Seeing the bratty kids being dragged through the line by the wrist or the adorable newborn in a reindeer onesie who had absolutely no idea what was going on. It was all a dose of Christmas cheer to me.
We would finally get up to Santa and have our picture taken. While seeing the differences and odd expressions on the Santa is priceless now, I didn’t pick up on the comical value of these pictures until much later. These pictures are mini time capsules. I would love to see them all now. Put ‘em in a massive frame of some sort. I was never afraid of Santa. Not once. How can you argue with a man who is gonna bring you presents. My brother and sister, on the other hand, were both terrified once each. I usually had a small list or a few pictures for him. In later years, I told him “Bring whatever ya want. I trust ya). Then we would get a small treat and these would vary from a mini cereal box sample, candy cane and coloring book.
Then it was onto the food court for a sensible dinner. Burger King, McDonalds, Arby’s, Tom Wahl’s or Sbarro (where I once found $40 underneath the counter, likely to be Christmas ’97 or ’98, Mom said to keep it and it was meant for me to find). Then it was time for the journey back home.
Then there was Christmas '00. It was a Friday night, that I know for sure. We were headed out to Greece Ridge Mall to see Santa and our Dodge Caravan stopped dead in the road in front of the Marriott. After waiting for what seemed like ages, we went into the Marriott lobby, where we were now asked the infamous question "Are you here for the Christmas party?" We had AAA come take care of the car...might have been a dead battery, but I seem to recall a fluid leaking...anyway, Grandma and grandpa came by to get us and we all had a lovely late night dinner of pizza (probably Amico's or Pontillo's) once we all got home.
I would kill to be 6 years old again. Going to see Santa, truly believing he came in our front door, polished off the cookies and egg nog, dispersed the celery and carrots to his reindeer and built the mountains of boxes I would find in the living room on Christmas.
Furthermore, I would even….WAIT! IN! LINE!
“Not only is Christmas getting too commercial, it’s getting too dangerous.”- Linus Van Pelt.
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