“I Saw Daddy Kissing Santa Claus.”

This one chronicles either a time of joy or time or horror. One or the other.

#22 of the 31 Things I Love About Christmas: Seeing Santa Claus.

“Of course, SANTA. The big man. The head honcho. The connection”- Ralphie Parker.

Just yesterday while driving about with my pretty wife I heard an advertisement that brought out my inner Grinch. Now it is probably very clear I love Christmas, but this…this news, it nearly ruined the peppermint Peeps we were nibbling on (a-maz-ing, by the way).

NEVER WAIT IN LINE TO SEE SANTA AGAIN. CALL AHEAD TO RESERVE YOUR TIME WITH SANTA!!!!!!

You heard that right!! No more waiting in line. No more juggling strollers, coats, stray children and heavenly Auntie Anne’s pretzels while waiting to see The Big Guy. YOU CALL AHEAD TO RESERVE A PLACE IN LINE.

This is sad. It is also the picture of where we exist as a nation. Everyone wants everything. No one wants to wait for it. Waiting patiently? Taking turns? Those are all non essential life skills that our children need not to be bothered with. This is almost as bad as the company who now allows you to buy a real Christmas tree ONLINE and have it sent to you.

“AAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH.”- Charlie Brown

Are we so busy that time for our children and family have to be scheduled in and prioritized? You wanna go see Santa Vito, Dino, Angelo and Tony? Well I gotta see when my schedule is free. Have your people call my people and we’ll set something up. It’s no wonder most kids are the brainless, soulless zombies with no emotional attachment to much of anything or have any sentimental value of family and tradition. It’s gonna get worse before it gets better.

Jesus. Hey buddy. Feel free to come by anytime and say hello. The world is just about over, anyways.

Some of my most prized memories of Christmas involve those where we went to see Santa Claus. Usually on a Friday or Saturday night (though I am fairly sure Christmas ’91 we went on Sunday. I remember leaving from Grandmas’ house, changing out of my boots into shoes on the staircase on the lower level of the mall and getting the board game Perfection from Kay Bee Toys.) We would usually get picked up from school and head straight to the mall, so to avoid “the crazies.” In later years we started venturing to Greece Ridge Mall and Marketplace Mall, but while it was still worth the trip we went to Irondequoit Mall. (From 1990-98 Irondequoit Mall could have given the other 3 malls a significant run for their money.)

Click here to see a walk through video of the mall in 2008. Kinda heartbreaking if you remember how it was.

Santa’s Mansion would be set up in the middle of the mall. They would turn off the fountains, drain the water, and set up the gaudiest, most bombastic holiday display one had ever seen. And we would wait (I can hear it now, “Wait Grandpa, you WAITED? FOR HOW LONG? Well at least you could have Starbucks while you waited….WAIT? NO STARBUCKS IN 1993? Call in Grandma, I don’t believe you.”) And wait. And people watch. It was always a treat. Seeing the bratty kids being dragged through the line by the wrist or the adorable newborn in a reindeer onesie who had absolutely no idea what was going on. It was all a dose of Christmas cheer to me.

We would finally get up to Santa and have our picture taken. While seeing the differences and odd expressions on the Santa is priceless now, I didn’t pick up on the comical value of these pictures until much later. These pictures are mini time capsules. I would love to see them all now. Put ‘em in a massive frame of some sort. I was never afraid of Santa. Not once. How can you argue with a man who is gonna bring you presents. My brother and sister, on the other hand, were both terrified once each. I usually had a small list or a few pictures for him. In later years, I told him “Bring whatever ya want. I trust ya). Then we would get a small treat and these would vary from a mini cereal box sample, candy cane and coloring book.

Then it was onto the food court for a sensible dinner. Burger King, McDonalds, Arby’s, Tom Wahl’s or Sbarro (where I once found $40 underneath the counter, likely to be Christmas ’97 or ’98, Mom said to keep it and it was meant for me to find). Then it was time for the journey back home.

Then there was Christmas '00. It was a Friday night, that I know for sure. We were headed out to Greece Ridge Mall to see Santa and our Dodge Caravan stopped dead in the road in front of the Marriott. After waiting for what seemed like ages, we went into the Marriott lobby, where we were now asked the infamous question "Are you here for the Christmas party?" We had AAA come take care of the car...might have been a dead battery, but I seem to recall a fluid leaking...anyway, Grandma and grandpa came by to get us and we all had a lovely late night dinner of pizza (probably Amico's or Pontillo's) once we all got home.

I would kill to be 6 years old again. Going to see Santa, truly believing he came in our front door, polished off the cookies and egg nog, dispersed the celery and carrots to his reindeer and built the mountains of boxes I would find in the living room on Christmas.

Furthermore, I would even….WAIT! IN! LINE!

“Not only is Christmas getting too commercial, it’s getting too dangerous.”- Linus Van Pelt.

"Jump In Bed. Cover Up Ya Head, 'Cause Santa Claus Comes Tonight."

I am a traditionalist at heart, generally speaking. Once something is started and some sort of emotional or sentimental attachment is made, it is important to be to keep it going. This ranges from listening to the soundtracks to Major League and Bull Durham, in addition to 2 mix CDs of all baseball songs, in the days prior to and on the way to a baseball game. As for hockey games…you don’t wanna know. Put a pair of tickets to a hockey game in my hand, and I am back to being 6 years old, walking with mom and dad, hand in hand across Exchange Blvd in downtown Rochester into the Rochester War Memorial (can’t bring myself to call it Blue Cross Arena) to see our Amerks (usually) destroy their unlucky opponent.

#30 on my list of The 31 Things I Love About Christmas is: Ornaments and jammies.

Every Christmas that I can remember have been accompanied by the presentation of a new Christmas ornament and pair of pajamas, usually the afternoon of Christmas eve.

Anytime of the year, whenever we are in a mall that houses a Hallmark, a quick visit inside is in order, especially when the Christmas stuff is out. Sadly, most of the stuff there is on the tasteful and pricey side (which is why you wait for the after Christmas sales….kinda got my eye on a Snoopy doll that rings and plays Jingle Bells.) The Hallmark Christmas ornaments are the stuff of priceless memories and lifelong treasures. What kind of dope would drop $20 per ornament? My mother. She wouldn’t have it any other way.

I can still remember when Hallmark was in Ridge Culver plaza in my hometown of Irondequoit, NY (they would later move to the now long gone Irondequoit Mall). It was such a joy seeing all the new ornaments that were out that year. Always sure to grab a catalog and find the ones I wanted the most, as additional “community” ornaments were usually purchased as well. These ornaments are amazing quality and are worth every penny.

In 1994 hallmark began to roll out a Baseball Heroes line. A pewter medallion ornament with a red, white and blue ribbon proclaiming the player’s name at the top, a 2-D color likeness of the player in the center, with the year of manufacturing etched into home plate. A short summary of the player was on the back. It was wonderful getting that first ornament and I looked forward to the next one each year. It was supposed to be a series of 12 and it was staggering to think I would be 19 and a sophomore in college when the set ended. I envisioned my tree covered in a dozen baseball legends, perhaps a collection to pass on to my own son someday. Baseball was to me, what Batman or Legos were to normal children. Sadly this wasn’t to be and the series was discontinued after the 4^th ornament. Babe Ruth, Lou Gehrig, Satchel Paige and Jackie Robinson are alive and well (Robinson is missing an arm, I’m sorry to report), and they will hang proudly on our tree.

As for pajamas, this too has accompanied the ornament, on Christmas eve afternoon, shortly before the family arrived for dinner. We made sure to keep spare hooks handy for the immediate transfer of our ornaments from box to tree. I certainly remember at least one set of Buffalo Bills PJs, maybe around 93 or 94. I loved (still do) old man PJs. Long sleeve or short sleeve polyester with long pants. Something like you might see Ricky Ricardo wear. Flannel PJs were also suitable (Christmas ’97 I had red, white and green striped ones…”the Italian pride/Candy Cane PJs.” Later this would evolve into t-shirts and hilarious PJ pants (think AC/DC, Superman, Rolling Stones, Pink Floyd.) Not to mention the now famous purple and black silk PJs. While I usually stick to the t-shirt and pajama pants these days. I wouldn’t refuse those old man PJs.

It should be noted that we got these gifts at that time of day not because my parents had any grand attachment to doing it just then, it was to shut us up. And even then, we would be foaming at the mouth at the thought of the treasures that awaited us. We wanted something to open…an ornament, a box of crackers, anything. We usually got our small gifts we had “bought for each other” at this time. A small toy, wall calendar or CD was usually the variety of gifts we received then.

These are the things I remember and it doesn’t seem quite like Christmas without them. An ornament (or two) a year and pajamas are both traditions I look forward to continuing with our family in the coming years.