"They're Gonna Build A Toyland Town All Around The Christmas Tree."

"Santa Claus had come. Officially. We plunged into the cornucopia quivering with desire and the ecstasy of unbridled avarice."- Ralphie Parker

#2 of 31 Things I Love About Christmas: Christmas Morning.

Aside from the morning of my birthday and the morning of my wedding day, there is no other day that I wake up with the feeling of knowing what the day is. If that makes sense. I don't wake up on June 14 and go "IT'S FLAG DAY...YAHOO!"

I was usually the first one up. Some years it would depend, I would lie in my bed patiently til either our parents were awake or my sister had come by to wake me up or vice versa. We might have sneaked into the living room to make sure he actually came and wouldn't ya know it? He never forgot our house. That first look of the tree, usually lit up, rounding the hallway corner, into the living room...magic. We also made sure that Santa had indeed enjoyed the cookies and egg nog and given the celery and carrots to the reindeer...funny how the thank you note looked more and more like my Dad's handwriting....the gift tags looked a lot like Mom's writing....God bless 'em.

Now that we confirmed Santa had come it was time to get our parents up, if they hadn't heard "the prancing and pawing of each little hoof" already. Mom would sometimes make her and my dad coffee and dad would grab the camera. These pictures, are like time capsules. I can look at it and know exactly what year it was and know why I got what I got in the picture. These pictures are priceless treasures. The custom later evolved, once we were a little older, into us opening our stockings while we were waiting for our parents, but God help us if we touched anything else. Upon examination of our stocking items, which ranged from tissue packets, ties, a CD, Christmas candy (Santa was known for bringing those huge plastic candy canes filled with Reese's peanut butter cups or Hershey's Kisses) these were small tokens but very personalized. If you were to take our unwrapped stocking stuffers, throw them in a pile and sort them accordingly, you would have no problem figuring out to whom they belonged.

Opening presents soon commenced after this. One at a time and in orderly fashion, always making sure we were actually opening a gift meant for us. These gifts again were highly personalized to suit each of us, you could look at the spread of gifts after all was said and done and it all made sense. Opening each gift slowly, so to savor the moment and joy. We would usually be told once we got to the headliner item to save that one for last. We would then haul what we could to our room, making nothing important got thrown out. We would then have the 2nd course of breakfast (Christmas candy was the 1st course), watch the Christmas parade, watch more Christmas specials, call our grandparents, aunt and anyone one else to say merry Christmas. Get dressed and get ready to head to Grandma's around 12:30- 1PM.

For a refresher on the magic of Grandma's house see the "Grandma's House" entry.

When we were younger we would bring over 1 or 2 new toys that we couldn't wait to show them. Soon enough we would sit down to dinner. Pasta of some kind, ham, lamb or roast beef various sides and a parade of deserts and snacks. This would go on for hours. We would usually move onto the living room to watch the 24 hour marathon of "A Christmas Story" on TNT or TBS. I would always find time to play Deuces Wild with Grandpa and Dad. The entire afternoon and evening was a glad time of spending more time with each other, basking in the glory of another Christmas, wishing each year that I could freeze this moment in time and have it never end. Soon night would come and it would be time to go home. One last drive around the neighborhood near my Grandma's, down by the Bay and around our house, looking at all the houses all fancied up with excessive Christmas light displays. More of moving over our new stuff into our room and cleaning up the living room, as people would be coming over soon for my sister's birthday (whatever the weekend of Dec. 27th was). One last good belt of egg nog, one last viewing of A Christmas Story and it would all be over for another year. One last look at the tree it all it's heavenly glory and a smile.

Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night.

“I Saw Daddy Kissing Santa Claus.”

This one chronicles either a time of joy or time or horror. One or the other.

#22 of the 31 Things I Love About Christmas: Seeing Santa Claus.

“Of course, SANTA. The big man. The head honcho. The connection”- Ralphie Parker.

Just yesterday while driving about with my pretty wife I heard an advertisement that brought out my inner Grinch. Now it is probably very clear I love Christmas, but this…this news, it nearly ruined the peppermint Peeps we were nibbling on (a-maz-ing, by the way).

NEVER WAIT IN LINE TO SEE SANTA AGAIN. CALL AHEAD TO RESERVE YOUR TIME WITH SANTA!!!!!!

You heard that right!! No more waiting in line. No more juggling strollers, coats, stray children and heavenly Auntie Anne’s pretzels while waiting to see The Big Guy. YOU CALL AHEAD TO RESERVE A PLACE IN LINE.

This is sad. It is also the picture of where we exist as a nation. Everyone wants everything. No one wants to wait for it. Waiting patiently? Taking turns? Those are all non essential life skills that our children need not to be bothered with. This is almost as bad as the company who now allows you to buy a real Christmas tree ONLINE and have it sent to you.

“AAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH.”- Charlie Brown

Are we so busy that time for our children and family have to be scheduled in and prioritized? You wanna go see Santa Vito, Dino, Angelo and Tony? Well I gotta see when my schedule is free. Have your people call my people and we’ll set something up. It’s no wonder most kids are the brainless, soulless zombies with no emotional attachment to much of anything or have any sentimental value of family and tradition. It’s gonna get worse before it gets better.

Jesus. Hey buddy. Feel free to come by anytime and say hello. The world is just about over, anyways.

Some of my most prized memories of Christmas involve those where we went to see Santa Claus. Usually on a Friday or Saturday night (though I am fairly sure Christmas ’91 we went on Sunday. I remember leaving from Grandmas’ house, changing out of my boots into shoes on the staircase on the lower level of the mall and getting the board game Perfection from Kay Bee Toys.) We would usually get picked up from school and head straight to the mall, so to avoid “the crazies.” In later years we started venturing to Greece Ridge Mall and Marketplace Mall, but while it was still worth the trip we went to Irondequoit Mall. (From 1990-98 Irondequoit Mall could have given the other 3 malls a significant run for their money.)

Click here to see a walk through video of the mall in 2008. Kinda heartbreaking if you remember how it was.

Santa’s Mansion would be set up in the middle of the mall. They would turn off the fountains, drain the water, and set up the gaudiest, most bombastic holiday display one had ever seen. And we would wait (I can hear it now, “Wait Grandpa, you WAITED? FOR HOW LONG? Well at least you could have Starbucks while you waited….WAIT? NO STARBUCKS IN 1993? Call in Grandma, I don’t believe you.”) And wait. And people watch. It was always a treat. Seeing the bratty kids being dragged through the line by the wrist or the adorable newborn in a reindeer onesie who had absolutely no idea what was going on. It was all a dose of Christmas cheer to me.

We would finally get up to Santa and have our picture taken. While seeing the differences and odd expressions on the Santa is priceless now, I didn’t pick up on the comical value of these pictures until much later. These pictures are mini time capsules. I would love to see them all now. Put ‘em in a massive frame of some sort. I was never afraid of Santa. Not once. How can you argue with a man who is gonna bring you presents. My brother and sister, on the other hand, were both terrified once each. I usually had a small list or a few pictures for him. In later years, I told him “Bring whatever ya want. I trust ya). Then we would get a small treat and these would vary from a mini cereal box sample, candy cane and coloring book.

Then it was onto the food court for a sensible dinner. Burger King, McDonalds, Arby’s, Tom Wahl’s or Sbarro (where I once found $40 underneath the counter, likely to be Christmas ’97 or ’98, Mom said to keep it and it was meant for me to find). Then it was time for the journey back home.

Then there was Christmas '00. It was a Friday night, that I know for sure. We were headed out to Greece Ridge Mall to see Santa and our Dodge Caravan stopped dead in the road in front of the Marriott. After waiting for what seemed like ages, we went into the Marriott lobby, where we were now asked the infamous question "Are you here for the Christmas party?" We had AAA come take care of the car...might have been a dead battery, but I seem to recall a fluid leaking...anyway, Grandma and grandpa came by to get us and we all had a lovely late night dinner of pizza (probably Amico's or Pontillo's) once we all got home.

I would kill to be 6 years old again. Going to see Santa, truly believing he came in our front door, polished off the cookies and egg nog, dispersed the celery and carrots to his reindeer and built the mountains of boxes I would find in the living room on Christmas.

Furthermore, I would even….WAIT! IN! LINE!

“Not only is Christmas getting too commercial, it’s getting too dangerous.”- Linus Van Pelt.

“And Mom And Dad Can Hardly Wait For School To Start Again.”

“WELL WE CAN’T SALUTE YA! CAN’T FIND A FLAG! IF THAT DON’T SUIT YA, THAT’S A DRAG” –Alice Cooper.

#23 of the 31 Things I Love About Christmas: The Last Day of School.

I don’t know if there is a more wonderful day in the school year, aside from the last day of school, than the last day of school before Christmas break. Apologies to my wife, who by chance, happens to be a teacher.

Not like kids go on Christmas vacation anymore. Now they embark on a "winter recess." Weeeeeee.

No I will not entertain the argument about why Christmas is a bad word according to some. I won’t do it. The G-rating for this blog would go out the window fast.

Now then, we wasted so much time in school when we were kids. I still think we were better off. School was fun in those early years. I can still see the old, delightfully tacky illuminated Santa Claus hanging out on the left side of the front foyer of Ivan Green School (1992-95). The tree in the front hall, ribbons and decorations abound. There was so much Christmas spirit around, people were pissing pure egg nog until Valentine’s Day.

There goes that G-rating.

We had classroom parties that lasted from lunch until the end of the day. Teachers tried to maintain some picture of law and order, but the most exciting lesson plans in the world can’t compete with the fact that Santa Claus is Comin’ To Town. Usually they didn’t fight it. We got through the bare necessities and that was about it. Onto lunch and then party time. Che bella festa! Christmas cookies, candy and treats all over the joint. In Mrs. Northrup’s 1^st grade class I got a checkers set (the most useful gift I ever got at one of these shindigs). In Mrs. McEllerhan’s 2^nd grade class, I think we did a book exchange, can’t say for sure though. In Mrs. Meyer’s 3^rd grade class I got a monster truck (what am I supposed to do with that)? I remember the mortifying shame of having gotten a girl’s name out of the hat. Most embarrassing thing in the world. ONTO THE DOLLAR STORE!!! That might make me a terrible person, you decide (I got her a frilly little box to put…..girls things in and some sort of hair accessory I think, had to enlist Mom’s help for this one, I would have gotten her a puck and a Slim Jim and said "Buon Natale" if I had my way).

Once we got to Durand we would fool around and waste time until it was time for the school wide assembly, featuring the 6^th grade chorus. Mrs. Albano always went all out on these productions. The teachers would usually get up and sing, perform ridiculous skits and it was back to the classroom to pack it up and head home. Where some sort of goodness would be had for dinner. usually pizza. Ma che bella pizz' from either Amico’s, Pontillo’s, Schaller’s (a burger joint on Eastridge Rd. Unless you are from Rochester, you can't possibly understand)or any other local delicacy we enjoyed. The smell of fresh hot pizza on cold winter’s night, teasing us from the trunk of the car, takes me right back to being in my kitchen as a kid, especially around Christmastime. Weird. I know.

I would try my best to get any homework done ASAP, so I had the rest of the break to enjoy. It seems like it lasts forever. There were 4 distinct stages of Christmas vacation for me:

Stage 1: Last day of school. YAY CHRISTMAS VACATION IS HERE!!!

Stage 2: Santa Claus has come. CHRISTMAS IS HERE!!!

Stage 3: My sister, Rosalia's birthday on 12/27...ah boy, it's almost all over, but not quite.

Stage 4: New Year's Day/back to the grind. Wahhhhhh.

Though I gotta say one thing that does brutally suck about kids, school and Christmas is the unavoidable “Is Santa real?” conversation. I think I would rather have The Birds and The Bees talk with a bunch of 12 year olds than tell a 9 year old. Nope, it’s all a lie. And their pals The Easter Bunny and Tooth Fairy….

I think that has to be, one of the most heartbreaking moments as a parent. After they find out Santa isn’t real, life pretty much rolls downhill in a hurry. It is the last little slice of innocence and wonder kids have left, growing up much, much too fast than ever before. From birth to about 3 or 4, the kids have no real idea of what is going on. They see boxes and toys. You can really screw with the little guy if you buy a 10-pack of socks or underwear and wrap up each pair individually. So if you’re lucky you get from ages 5-8 as Christmases they actually remember, are excited for and know what is going on. I’m sure there is some poor kindergartener who just found out from some brainless schmuck on the bus that Santa isn’t real. I would see and hear kids doing that to each other and my heart would break even then.

I kinda was suspicious around 2^nd grade and probably knew by Christmas ’95. 8 years old. Though I knew it was coming, it was still kinda weird. But it is because my parents made such big doings about Christmas, that my love for it is what it is today. They explained that Christmas was really a spirit all along. Santa and the entire season were based around a spirit that people take upon themselves to continue and carry on. That is why, my dear readers, my child-like wonder and love for Christmas didn’t die when my belief in Babbo Natale did.

In them days we watched movies, listened to Christmas music, exchanged small presents, got sugar high and went home. We were kids. We were allowed to have fun. No reasons. No educational value. We simply had fun. I feel sorry for the modern student who can’t even celebrate Christmas openly in school but if they did, everything would have to be approved by Congress. Coloring pictures? Crafts? Christmas cartoons? No way. Not anymore. So glad we grew up when we did. In every aspect of the word, these kids are living in a different world.