"Hark! The Hearld Angels Sing."

If you thought my Christmas albums entry was a bit excessive. Stay tuned.

#18 of 31 Things I Love About Christmas: Finding Obscure Christmas Albums.

If there is anything I love more than Christmas music, it's finding Christmas albums the average human being didn't know exist. (I guess I got a thing for finding any album that most people didn't know exist. Can't go on road trip without the soundtrack to Animal House).

They don't have to be releases by no-names, just albums that most people don't rush to put in their collection. Most of your 24/7 Christmas stations are pulling from a bank of maybe several hundred songs, all the definitive "classic" versions of the songs. Good luck at hearing Keith Richards tackle "Run Run Rudolph" or REO Speedwagon try their hand at "Silent Night."

My count has to be close to 100 Christmas albums. If I can get another spindle of CDs, I could easily go on another bender (how did I not have Heart's Christmas album). Do I need more? No. Options are nice. Some days I feel like Frank Sinatra. Some days I feel like Robert Goulet.

I have albums from Ray Charles, Diamond Rio, Hall & Oates, the cast of Bonanaza, Regis Philbin, The Brady Bunch, The Waltons, Davy Jones, Barry Manilow, Buck Owens, Oak Ridge Boys, Hank Snow, Andy Williams, Clint Black, George Strait, Alan Jackson, Garth Brooks, Alabama, Ringo Starr, Jim Nabors, Jackie Gleason, Tennessee Ernie Ford, The Carpenters, Slade, Robert Goulet, Andy Griffith, Air Supply and Lawrence Welk.

Disgusting, I know. As previously stated, especially when we are just driving around town, or driving home, we will sometimes just let the radio go and jam on whatever Christmas songs happen to be on. Sometimes, a little more care is needed and that is when my albums and handpicked compilations come in handy. While I do own Now That's What I Call Christmas Vol I-IV and that would be plenty for most people. I ain't most people. Not to mention, any store bought compilation is bound to have a few useless clunkers in the bunch? How to avoid songs that suck? Pick 'em yourself.

That being said, here is the slightly altered list from last year. It was initially only 35 songs. Clearly, that didn't work out too well. I capped it at 71 songs. Anything beyond that would have been a bit much.

The 71 Greatest Christmas Songs Of All Time

1. White Christmas- Bing Crosby
2. Santa Claus Is Coming To Town- Bruce Springsteen & The E Street Band
3. Happy Christmas- John Lennon
4. The Little Drummer Boy/Peace On Earth- Bing Crosby & David Bowie
5. Dominick The Italian Christmas Donkey- Lou Monte
6. Christmas Must Be Tonight- The band
7. Christmas Song- Dave Matthews Band
8. Blue Christmas-Elvis Presley
9. The Christmas Waltz-Frank Sinatra
10. Little Saint Nick- The Beach Boys
    
11. All I Want For Christmas Is You- Mariah Carey
12. Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer- Elmo & Patsy
13. Rudolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer- Burl Ives
14. Holly Jolly Christmas- Burl Ives
15. Step Into Christmas- Elton John
16. Thank God Its' Christmas- Queen
17. Christmas Don't Be Late- Alvin & The Chipmunks
18. Wonderful Christmastime- Paul McCartney
19. Frosty The Snowman- Jimmy Durante
20. Winter Wonderland- Chicago
21. You're A Mean One Mr. Grinch- Thurl Ravenscroft
22. The Spirit Of Christmas- Ray Charles
23. Must Be Santa- Bob Dylan
24. The Little Drummer Boy-Bob Seger
25. Oh Come All Ye Faithful- Twisted Sister
26. Santa Baby-Eartha Kitt
27. Baby It's Cold Outside-Dean Martin
28. Christmas All Over Again- Tom Petty
29. Christmas Time is Here- A Charlie Brown Christmas
30. Merry Christmas Baby- Otis Redding
31. Run Run Rudolph- Chuck Berry
32. Rockin' Around The Christmas Tree-Brenda Lee
    
33. Jingle Bell Rock- Nelson
34. Oh All Come All Ye Grateful Deadheads- Bob Rivers
35. God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen- Ronnie James Dio
36. Last Christmas-Wham
37. Mistress For Christmas- AC/DC
38. Fuck Christmas-Eric Idle (yea, you aren't dreaming)
39. Christmas In Dixie-Alabama
40. Merry Christmas Strait To You- George Strait
41. Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas- Jani Lane of Warrant
42. Christmas Time Again- Extreme
43. Christmas Is A Time To Say I Love You-Billy Squire
44. Walkin' Round In Women's Underwear- Bob Rivers
45. Merry Christmas Everybody-Slade
46. 12 Days Of Christmas- John Denver & The Muppets
    
47. 12 Pains Of Christmas- Bob Rivers
48. Mele Kalikimaka- Bing Crosby
49. I Want A Hippopotamus For Christmas-Gayla Peevey
50. I'm Gettin' Nuttin' For Christmas-Stan Freberg
    
51. Jingle Bells- The Singing Dogs
52. Do They Know It's Christmas Time- Band Aid
53. Hey Santa- Carnie & Wendy Wilson
54. Merry Christmas Baby- Bruce Springsteen & The E Street Band
    
55. Christmas Time Is Here Again- The Beatles
56. All I Want For Christmas Is My Two Front Teeth-Spike Jones
57. Santa Claus & His Old Lady- Cheech & Chong
58. Silver Bells-Regis Philbin
59. Go Tell It On The Mountain- James Taylor
60. The Christmas Song- Nat King Cole
61. Christmas Time Again- Lynyrd Skynyrd
62. Christmas Tree- Lady Gaga
63. Please Come Home For Christmas- The Eagles
64. Christmas Vacation- Mavis Staples
65. Blue Christmas-Tom Keifer of Cinderella
66. I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus- John Mellencamp
67. I Saw Daddy Kissing Santa Claus- Kip Addotta
68. It's A Marshmellow World- Dean Martin
69. It's The Most Wonderful Time Of The Year- Andy Williams
70. Merry Christmas- The Ramones
71. Sleigh Ride- The Ronettes
    

“Oh What Fun It Is To Ride And Sing A Sleighing Song Tonight.”

What would Christmas be without music?

#19 of the 31 Things I Love About Christmas: Christmas Music.

I love Christmas Music. To date I have 98 full length Christmas albums (hand picked compilations not included)

That is disgusting. Excessive, over the top and a bit much. If you know me, you aren’t surprised

I love Christmas music and everything about it. From Thanksgiving til 11:59pm on 12/25 it is nothing but Christmas music for my ears. The first cassette I ever owned was The Beach Boys Christmas album (got it November ’97). Since then my Christmas music have grown to ridiculous heights over the past 14 years. From the essentials to the truly bizarre, I love ‘em all.

Do I think the Christmas music starts a bit early? Yes. As much as I love it, it loses the appeal if you start cranking the Chipmunks around Labor Day. Like egg nog, Christmas music for me is to be enjoyed between Thanksgiving and Christmas night (unless I crack a few days before Thanksgiving) and then to be packed away for another year. Decorations however, may be enjoyed until at least New Year’s Day.

I can’t get enough of Christmas music during this time of year. I especially have a thing for off the wall Christmas songs and parodies. Bob Rivers is king of Christmas spoofs. Such masterpieces as “Walkin ‘Round In Women’s Underwear” (Winter Wonderland), “Oh Come, All Ye DeadHeads”, “The Restroom Door Said Gentlemen” and “Chipmunks Roasting On An Open Fire” are just some of his holiday offerings.

After a quick looksee on Amazon, 70,982 results came up when I searched Christmas in the music department. How does one make sure there collection is up to par and doesn’t leave your family feeling ashamed due to your lack of holiday tunes.

C’mon you KNEW this was coming.

I have long been of the belief there needs to be a Christmas Album box set, entitled “Unless You Buy This, Santa Won’t Visit You” box set. Though royalties and permission from all parties involved would hamper this project fast, it’s nice to dream. I have assembled a list of the 15 Christmas albums that should be packaged together and sold at an attractive price…like $5 or something reasonable. There will also be a 2^nd volume entitled “5 More Christmas Albums You Must Have If You’re Some Kind Of Nuts.”

Unless You Buy This, Santa Won’t Visit You Box Set Disc listing:

1. Burl Ives: Have A Holly Jolly Christmas
   
2. Frank Sinatra: A Jolly Christmas From Frank Sinatra
3. A Charlie Brown Christmas: The Vince Guaraldi Trio
4. James Taylor: At Christmas
5. Chicago: What’s It Gonna Be Santa?
6. Tony Bennett: Snowfall-The Tony Bennett Christmas Album
7. Phil Spector: A Christmas Gift For You From Phil Spector
8. The Beach Boys: Ultimate Christmas (The ’64 The Beach Boys Christmas album + additional tracks)
9. Bob Dylan: Christmas In The Heart
10. Bing Crosby: Merry Christmas or The Voice of Christmas: Complete Decca Christmas Songbook
11. Elvis Presley: Elvis’ Christmas Album or Elvis Christmas (2006 compilation)
12. Dean Martin: Christmas With Dino
13. Alvin & The Chipmunks: Christmas with The Chipmunks (2008 best compilation)
14. Regis Philbin: The Christmas Album
15. Andy Griffith: The Christmas Guest: Stories and Songs of Christmas

“5 More Christmas Albums You Must Have If You’re Some Kind Of Nuts.”

1. REO Speedwagon: Not So Silent Night
2. National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation Soundtrack
3. Dr. Demento: Presents The Greatest Christmas Novelty CD Of All Time
4. Monster Ballads Christmas
5. The Beatles Christmas Albums (widely bootlegged, all ya gotta do is look)

Clearly this set would be a hit with all ages.